OldIrv (oldandeasy) wrote,

A Personal Turning-Point

Wow . . . event-packed and very challenging days, this past week or two, as I try to figure out what is going on in my world. Georgina's, too, of course -- as we are in continual daily contact. Each being plagued by recent illness and seemingly strange things we've had to deal with. At the moment, however . . . and with this latest measure of it, I can only speak for myself.

There were vital things I had to take care of, during the course of this past week. I needed to schedule my time well, and see that I was properly energized for it. Some of it had to do with copy-shop work, at a place I know I can rely on; though I had to return there a second time, because it was sensitive work I was up to. And, along with all that, significant old contacts of mine on the UW campus.

It came to pass, though, that 'something physical' just entirely ran out on me at the height of my activity, I think it was Thursday. Could be off by a day. I just lost it . . . I totally lost it. A couple of bad decisions, a missed bus or two, and it felt suddenly like my whole body just collapsed . . (me within it).

I found myself literally unable to board the final bus of the day, taking me to within a block of where I live. I had to be helped on the bus, by someone who had physical problems himself. Yes, I was that bad off . . . in full-body pain, not at all sure what was going on with me.

I've been almost solidly at home, ever since . . . pretty-much in pain, taking a nightly sedative (which I've not been a stranger to, but up to this week it was mostly to quell the pain of a deep bowel issue -- a matter that has not been bothering me these past few days. 

I'm sorry to lay all the sordid physical detail on you; but it's to lay some groundwork for what this LiveJournal entry really has to say . . . which might be of some interest to you. I've been turning all of this over, for the full weekend (of residential confinement), and a very different answer to all of it has come into my head. A pretty wild one!

I've been pushing myself, for the past several months, to hold out and 'hold on' for what is now the remaining 40 days until 12/21/12, the slated date for the great transformation variously referred to as the great shift in consciousness, the moment of Ascension, or the end of the Mayan Calendar. Whatever, it is regarded as a date of momentous significance. By many who fear it and many who simply believe in it . . . as well, of course, by many who scoff at it.

Well, it suddenly struck me, today, that I've been functioning, all this time, from the very same headspace: as someone 'waiting for that day to arrive' . . . even though I had conceptualized -- weeks ago -- that the momentum of the radical turnaround was already underway . . . that my own Ascension was not only assured, but it had already begun! I felt confidently sure of this. So I asked myself, today, what had become of that conviction? Where had it gone, and how'd I ever let it slip away from me?

Because . . .

Do you see where I'm going with this? I recognized, today, that I had let that realization totally slip from my grasp . . . I had completely lost the recognition, and the beautiful space it was able to put me in, right when I need it the most! Like TODAY.

I saw, at once, that it was a headspace issue. And I wasted no further part of this day-at-home being 'where I was' yesterday. I simply turned my headspace around, and became The New Person I intend to be . . . in the approaching time of a Dimensional Shift . . . because, you see, I am already on my way! It is merely a matter of getting out of my victim headspace and into my new-dimensional self.

And I do not speak lightly, when I say "merely a matter of." The headspace is ours to choose. Never forget or lose sight of the fact that we make this choice, ourselves. All the time.

So I changed my headspace, today, and I am quite literally a new and upbeat person, as I write this tonight. Be aware of the power you have to be whom you want to be.
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