OldIrv (oldandeasy) wrote,

Learning to Live With What IS

I'm sure it's a lesson I should have learned long ago . . . and, in fact, thought I had!  But then there comes a moment when 'the real thing' hits you right square in the gut, and you realize that you hadn't learnt anything at all! You'd just got all the ideas settled . . . but it takes real events on top of the ideas, to make their mark on your reality!

In childhood, for example, we do a lot of 'strutting around', showing off all the things we think we know . . . like how tough we are (just to name one of them that many folks will secretly recognize . . . now that we're decades on beyond it). And then, one day, a guy walks by, takes an instant 'measure' of you, and decides to push you around a bit . . . and your entire self-image, nurtured for decades and polished to a high gloss (mainly because nobody ever challenged it) . . . is suddenly destroyed! (Of course, you may stupidly decide to believe what you've built up as your own self-image)...

Does it sound at all familiar? I know which of my self-glorifications has substance . . . but it's not always easy to remember which do not. And then there is the miserable fact of aging, itself, that can change the truth of things. I like to think that I'm still capable of 'hitting the road' . . . but I've had sense enough (thus far) not to put it to the test. What I think I'm learning these days is the more humble art of letting things go.  Since I've always had such a basically free spirit, it doesn't come easily to me. And I'm discovering that Old Age itself, has this major pitfall of confronting you with a steady flow of these illustrative demonstrations. What a drag . . . !

Okay, well -- to get to my trail-winding point -- I've had a tangle with Comcast recently, and come out on the losing end of it, in that I'm no longer able o use my familiar video equipment in familiar -- in fact, habituated -- ways. Comcast 'killed this privilege' of mine, to make their point that I must order some piece of tech equipment immediately, to handle an upgrade shortly due, system-wide. Okay, I've made the arrangement. But to make their point, and leave no possibility I might let it slide, they hit me broadside with a notification that allow nothing else at all on my video screen.

So, for more than a week, now, I've been denied the usual meager pleasures that have sustained my good temper in the midst of a really draggy northwest winter. It has established a new media status-quo: I get nothing at all outside of their impossible-to-ignore message of urgency. As near as I can tell, this will continue for another week or more. In their seldom considerate way, they've made no provision for removing the beastie words since their first appearance on my screen. 

Needless to say, I raged over that, considering every possible way I might 'counter attack' . . . but it has all added up to: nothing I could do about it!

Hence, my current tribulations, and dog-day travail.

In the midst of which . . . I continue to wonder how I -- the sickly kid among the three of us -- hangs in, and continues, and continues to prove . . . something or other; I'm no longer sure exactly what . . . except that I am a remarkably tough old bird, after all.

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