OldIrv (oldandeasy) wrote,

Sorry for my seeming fade-out from here...


The days have gone by fast and furiously -- as I'm sure they have for all of you out there, whether in the rains of our northwest, the dry mid-country, or the storms of elsewhere . . . it's been a December to reckon with! True in Multiple Ways, when the added influence of these Transitional Times we've been saddled with is factored in!

And naturally, you'll be wanting to know how I've been affected by that latter aspect! So let me proceed to fill you in, with personal impressions of the much-heralded turnaround-time and some of my resultant thoughts about it.

It's been fascinating, in the first place, because no prior holiday season, for me, has ever been experienced in such a sliced-up way. There has always been a kind of unity to the holiday season, a coherence that's been totally lacking, this time around. It has seemed altogether fragmented -- the entire several weeks of it, as the month moved along. I've tried to maintain my frequent contact with Georgina -- both by phone and in connecting with each other; but it, too, seemed too often fragmented, as if we were each being hassled by it, in different ways. Even our communication often, in various ways, became mis-communication.

I've no doubt at all that the turnaround aspect we've known we were moving into had a great deal of effect on us. But there was little more we could do with it than to just be aware, and allow for it. Though the 'allowance' became an entirely 'blind alley' when it came to making allowance for it. It brought little recompense in its influence. I guess we could each fall back on it, when things didn't quite work out as we might have hoped. Like the fact of far too little sunshine, on dry days, for any real satisfaction. I think that when the world (or life) moves away from normalcy, It is just bound to be fragmentary and disturbing, and has got to be accepted that way.

On the beginning night of our Turnaround-time, I had the wonderful experience of a good, long night of sleep -- my first such in a very long while. And I considered that a positive signal that 'it' was underway. But as 'it' proceeded, I fell back, more, on what I had 'pre-conditioned' myself with: the idea that I could positively set my own agenda for what would be taking place. I've been telling myself, all the way along, that my own intent establishes my course of personal focus, and that this can predictively affect what will eventuate for me. I've felt, in other words, that I am capable of setting my own course! This has seemed reasonable to me, and has offered a kind of self-guidance, as we've moved into this Time.

Because of my age, largely, and clear feelings of diminishing physical capability, I chose to focus on self-healing as my most important concern. I've stuck with this choice of development all the way through the process, making it my prime focus. So that, when it came to assessing what might be happening, as we entered the time of change, I had a kind of 'yardstick' for assessing progress and progression. And it's been useful to have that. Furthermore, this focus has significantly given me an actual sense of transitional change! I find myself seriously 'pushing' the notion that my physical self definitely benefits from an increasing sense of physical vitality. I literally make it so! Admitting, however, that it sort of blurs the picture of what's taking place 'because of these times of change' and what is due, primarily (or mainly) to self-determination. Perhaps, indeed, our 'Turning-point Times of change' are more fully under our own control than we've initially assessed them to be!

Anyway, a lot of good food-for-thought, in all of that. I think it's worth dwelling on!
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